oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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