I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
