apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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