And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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