We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
