It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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