So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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