and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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