some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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