he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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