Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
