The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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