I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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