I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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