my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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