Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i would punch a child for taco bell
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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