I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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