So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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