"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i dont even know how to be here
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
