I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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