Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
