I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
