im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
