me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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