How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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