yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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