i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
