hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
