those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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