I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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