he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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