someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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