You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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