hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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