no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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