We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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