Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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