watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize