im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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