Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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