it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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