I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.