Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.