dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG