Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.

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  (401): You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men. http://tfl.nu/u1rr
  Replies (28) Good night (3359) Bad night (993)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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  (817): I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that. http://tfl.nu/nbo5
  Replies (27) Good night (998) Bad night (5726)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.

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  (573): Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever. (573): I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that. http://tfl.nu/43y6
  Replies (22) Good night (5377) Bad night (730)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky

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  (317): we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky http://tfl.nu/igrt
  Replies (26) Good night (4531) Bad night (2057)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.

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  (520): New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do. http://tfl.nu/6kks
  Replies (9) Good night (2261) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.

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  (519): Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen. http://tfl.nu/rpyn
  Replies (9) Good night (2422) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry

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  (804): Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry http://tfl.nu/mjn0
  Replies (5) Good night (1592) Bad night (706)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?

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  (778): We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in? http://tfl.nu/nu3d
  Replies (11) Good night (1249) Bad night (3064)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.

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  (207): Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm. http://tfl.nu/a20h
  Replies (9) Good night (1847) Bad night (749)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud

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  (915): I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud http://tfl.nu/k3wa
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (564)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..

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  (828): btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits.. http://tfl.nu/2wvn
  Replies (10) Good night (444) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow

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  (908): Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow http://tfl.nu/q4cz
  Replies (3) Good night (949) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.

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  (502): Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie. http://tfl.nu/p8oo
  Replies (4) Good night (575) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"

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  (740): You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!" http://tfl.nu/ubz0
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.

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  (409): It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm. http://tfl.nu/laz7
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (275)

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