Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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