Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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