Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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