Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
