i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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