how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
