it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
