PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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