From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it was like eating out sand paper
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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