im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
