She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize