I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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