You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
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He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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