wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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