Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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