I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
