Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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