i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
