everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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